What went down (literally):
1. ANTEPENULTIMATE has to be relevant. Third from last. Start circling every third-to-last letter. No, that's nothing.
2. What in the world is with all these "for"s? Wait! THERE ARE FIFTEEN OH WAIT...oh. Oh, there are 17.
3. That doesn't have a titular connection, though. Down themers matter. There wouldn't just be random down themers, instead of across ones.
4. Also, asymmetry. Yeah, the number "3" seems connected but...the last crazy one was the JACK DANIELS one, and there was a reason for that asymmetry. So something's funky.
5. Are there any 15-letter clues? Oooh! Superannuated...no, wait, that's 13. Groundbreaking...no, wait, that's 14. Whatchamacallit, that's 15.
6. Hmmm. Well, now, wait. Even if there aren't any other 15s, what about...hey, wait a minute, three downs match. Match those up.
7. What in the world is an OLD NEW THINGY? That's got to be it. There's no way he'd do "superannuated" for old. Something is majorly up.
8. 15-letter phrase. He intentionally told us that. Is there something in which every column matters? That might be why the columns are different.
9. This doesn't apply to other columns, does it? 5-3-4 for the first? Oh, "stuff for tees." Okay, that's way too awkward to be relevant. I bet there aren't any other 5-3-4 ones either.
10. Let me find some other random ones. Oh, okay, I'm spelling something. Perfect, okay, DOWN FOR THE COUNT (shameless self-plug: This was the title of my first - and very inaptly titled meta - seen
here).
Ironically, the first thing I noticed about this puzzle was how terse the clues were, but that could be because of how ridiculously loquacious I tend to be on mine (I still haven't learned lol). I mused if that could be something.
It's also worth using this puzzle - and this applies to plenty over the past couple of years - to state how much joy these metas have brought me and I hope you all as well. I came to these after a crossword resurgence in my own life around '19, and something about solving the puzzles we can figure out help us deal with the chaos of the world that we often can't. I wonder if I was drawn to the meta process more as a result of the pandemic-based isolation, since I felt like it transported me, in a way (honestly, like literature), to other worlds.
Happy solving to all of you! I think we're going to be grateful this is Week 3 next, haha.
Mikey G