"You Don't Say" - January 21, 2022

[JeanneC]

Congrats to the winner.
However, if there was a talent element to this endeavor, I would have won hands down. I play a tissue and comb that absolutely brings the house down!

[Deb F]

Got the meta but no mug. Alas.

But, thanks to Maine Marge, know that I'm Julie!!!

Have a good week, Muggles.

[Limerick Savant]

Solecism
Its Soli Greek to me

I quiet litrally made it at shore
Now I’m think that we must to explore,
Between you and I,
How too boldly defy
English grammar as no one before

I found the entomology of the word interesting with its apparent cultural bias.

Quick! How many solecistic mistakes did you find in the above?

For sure I see four I abhor.
And yet there are so many more!
But those aren't solecistic,
And can't be artistic.
So I'll just show you now to the door....

Oxford dons from across the Atlantic
May say that my verses seem antic
But down here we relax
And just skip the sin tax
Grammer teached us no need to get frantic

[martimeryard]

I post for you the Impotence of Proofreading by Taylor Mali. This always gives me a sensible chuckle.

Has this ever happened to you?
You work very horde on a paper for English clash
And then get a very glow raid (like a D or even a D=)
and all because you are the word's liverwurst spoiler.
Proofreading your peppers is a matter of the the utmost impotence.

This is a problem that affects manly, manly students.
I myself was such a bed spiller once upon a term
that my English teacher in my sophomoric year,
Mrs. Myth, said I would never get into a good colleague.
And that's all I wanted, just to get into a good colleague.
Not just anal community colleague,
because I wouldn't be happy at anal community colleague.
I needed a place that would offer me intellectual simulation,
I really need to be challenged, challenged dentally.
I know this makes me sound like a stereo,
but I really wanted to go to an ivory legal colleague.
So I needed to improvement
or gone would be my dream of going to Harvard, Jail, or Prison
(in Prison, New Jersey).

So I got myself a spell checker
and figured I was on Sleazy Street.

But there are several missed aches
that a spell chukker can't can't catch catch.
For instant, if you accidentally leave a word
your spell exchequer won't put it in you.
And God for billing purposes only
you should have serial problems with Tori Spelling
your spell Chekhov might replace a word
with one you had absolutely no detention of using.
Because what do you want it to douch?
It only does what you tell it to douche.
You're the one with your hand on the mouth going clit, clit, clit.
It just goes to show you how embargo
one careless clit of the mouth can be.

Which reminds me of this one time during my Junior Mint.
The teacher read my entire paper on A Sale of Two Titties
out loud to all of my assmates.
I'm not joking, I'm totally cereal.
It was the most humidifying experience of my life,
being laughed at pubically.

So do yourself a flavor and follow these two Pisces of advice:
One: There is no prostitute for careful editing.
And three: When it comes to proofreading,
the red penis your friend.

Mali. Taylor. “The the Impotence of Proofreading.” What Learning Leaves. Newtown, CT: Hanover Press, 2002. Print. (ISBN: 1-­‐887012-­‐17-­‐6)

[HunterX]

I post for you the Impotence of Proofreading by Taylor Mali. This always gives me a sensible chuckle.

[See above for the whole, hilarious poem]

Mali. Taylor. “The the Impotence of Proofreading.” What Learning Leaves. Newtown, CT: Hanover Press, 2002. Print. (ISBN: 1-­‐887012-­‐17-­‐6)

Oh my god. Too funny.

Reminds me of the story (now undoubtedly not PC) that my father once relayed to me. There was a British representative, visiting his corresponding African nation. They took him to the courtroom of their highest court to demonstrate how they had emulated the British judicial system as closely as possible. The Brit watch the proceeding, fascinated. The judges wore white wigs. The barristers wore the appropriate robes. They followed British judicial procedures with precision. But, occasionally, a topless woman entered from one side of the room, bolted across to the other, and left by a different door.

After the proceedings, when the local representative asked the Brit how he liked their courtroom and proceedings, he responded by complementing them, but asked, "I am curious though about the topless woman who appeared every so often and hurried across to the other side. What was that about?"

The local guide responded, "Well, we read the newspapers about your normal court proceedings. In many cases, the papers reporter that, "At the comment by the defendant, a titter ran through the courtroom."

[SReh26]

Thank God it’s Thursday!

[ship4u]

Thank God it’s Thursday!

On your mark, get set......

[DBMiller]